Future Is Sorted Out

Labschool Senior High School

2010-02-12T22:33:00.000+07:00

Okay, you can see the title I bet maybe you will know about what I will talk about on this post. It is about Labschool Senior High School. About my study. My parents agreed that I'm choosing Labschool Rawamangun as my next Senior High School. Thank God! And the test will be held on February 14, 2010. It's getting closer! Counting down right now. I'm still afraid because I saw all questions from the previous test. From 1999 until now. I don't know exactly when it was started. But at least 1999. I guess. The questions is huge! Haha seriously. So I will ask for some help to my dearest friend, Arum. She is really good at Math and Science! Whoaa imagine that! Study with her is easier than study at my course. Believe it or not but I'm saying the truth that what I've felt about. And I think she would help me too, I really hope so.

The test will be held on February 14, 2010 and it means? It's Valentine's Day people! Hmm anyway about Valentine's Day, I just got home from Mall of Indonesia with my Mom and Aunt. And we watched Valentine's Day. Oh really it's the best movie ever! I love the plot, I love all the cast. There is Jennifer Garner, Aston Kutcher, Eric Dane, Bradley Cooper, Julia Robert, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Anne Hathway, Patrick Dempsey and guess what? Duo Taylor! Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift! and many more that I can't write it one by one. There is so much things I can learn from that movie. I can learn how to love somebody in the right way and serious way. And we can share our feelings to everyone and Valentine's Day = everyday in this life! Anytime, everywhere, wherever, whoever the person we can still say our feelings. No need to wait the Valentine's Day. I will tell you everything what I've learn from the movie. Amazing, fantastic and very touching!

And for this year, maybe Valentine's Day will be the different one from the previous year. But I don't want to think it seriously. I just let it flow because I'm still teenager. I'm just trying to enjoy my life. What a wonderful life and I can't stop wishing for an amazing life :)

That's all for this time. Tomorrow I should wake up earlier because there is a lot to do at school. And wish me luck for Labschool Test! I need your support.

Cheers,
Kinanti

Freaking Out!

2010-02-07T11:24:00.000+07:00

Everything was so wrong for me. About my life, now I can feel I'm not child anymore. I must make some plan and chance to live in future life, think harder than before. So much pressure in me. Really, I'm not kidding. There is 2 things I always think everyday. About my Senior High School and about my University. Such a mess.

First, talk about my Senior High School. I've told you in the previous post, you can see it. I'm getting anxious because ready or not I must pass the National Exam and wait for the result. I must get high score, absolutely. Yesterday my uncle went to my school to take my Try Out score because my Mom can't make it. I already knew about my score and my Mom just know the average not the details. So when my Mom saw my score she just say "Wait for your Dad reaction" and I'm totally freaking out! I'm so scared but I'm trying to not scared and relax. That's all I can do to avoid.

I'm afraid I can't get 81 SHS. It's too hard. I'm crying, believe it or not. So I think Allah heard me. Last night, my Dad told me to join the Labschool test. Just in case if I can't get 81 SHS. My Dad not angry to me? Thanks and thank you very much! So I'm searching about Labschool test and asked to my friend or my chairmate exactly, Mira. She joined the test too. So I will go to Labschool tomorrow with her. But there is something problem with my Mom. I felt so guilty. My Mom and Dad have the different opinion. My Mom really want that I must get 81 SHS. Really there is kind of pressure. I'm stressed out. I'm crying. What should I do to make it better? It's getting worse. Wish me luck and keep pray for me.

Second, about my University. It really doesn't matter for now but I just want to make some plan where will I go to continue my study. I'm going to choose Oxford or Cambridge. I don't really know about that. But, I'm just prepare for my University.

Cheers,
Kinanti

White Flag

2010-02-03T15:02:00.000+07:00

Can you guess about my title? Last week I remembered about my favorite song two years ago. And it's White Flag by Dido. Do you know? I love the lyrics. Same experience..

White Flag - Dido (Album : Life For Rent, 2004)

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Cheers,
Kinanti

Nervous

2010-02-03T14:25:00.000+07:00

Hello, okay I will tell you about this day. Wednesday. February 3rd 2010. What a bad day and I'm so nervous for the last lesson at school. What is that? Science. Maybe 252 JHS student know why I'm so nervous about learn Science. The teacher is so discipline about everything and when she always come to class by class the students will sit in their chair and never brave to talk something. Suasanapun menjadi sangat sunyi ketika dia datang. Actually I'm not afraid of her because I can see the positive thing about how to study serious and success. She teach us about discipline of study, attitude. And everytime she came to my class, I'm just try to not nervous. Just relax. I can't think clearly if I always afraid of her. If she ask I will think hey I'm still learning about everything. I'm not the smartest people in this world so it doesn't matter if I can answer her question. But lucky me, I've never got some question from her.

But I think this is my bad day. I've got some question from her! And I did something idiot. I'm sweat at all and I can't say anything. She was talk about digestive and enzymes. Here's the dialogue,

Mrs. Nursinta : Hey kamu! Kamu anak baru ya? Kok saya tidak pernah melihat kamu ya? Ayo sebutkan enzim yang ada pada rongga mulut
Me : Emm tidak saya bukan anak baru kok Bu. Jawabannya aduh apa ya.... (I know about the answer but I didn's say it because I'm so nervous. It's for the first time I got question from her)
Mrs. Nursinta : Hah! (Pergi mencari mangsa yang lain eh I mean she search someone else to answer the question)

But it's not over. There is one thing! Pas ditanya soal lemak, "Apakah ada lemak yang dihasilkan tumbuhan?" Saya hanya menggeleng-geleng eh dia ngeliat lagi! Dia bilang dengan suara lantang "Hey neng! Kenapa kok geleng-geleng kan ada tumbuhan menghasilkan lemak" Dan everybody look at me. Stupid and idiot.

This is very unlucky day. And after that incident I will learn about everything at 'SKL' so if next time she ask me some question I can answer that easily. Because I have bad feeling. She know me now and maybe I will be her next target.

Cheers,
Kinanti

All I Wanted

2010-02-02T14:12:00.000+07:00

Tidak memakai basa-basi gue sekarang sudah punya planning tentang bagaimana gue hidup nanti. Memang sih, semua yang mengatur itu Allah. Hari ini gue baru pulang dan nunggu ibu gue pergi ke rumah sakit. Lalu duduk sebentar menonton semacam kartun yang idiot lalu menyalakan laptop ini. Dan sampai sekarang gue belum makan padahal ibu gue berpesan untuk memakan ayam kluyuk tapi malas ah. (Who cares). Ok let's back to the topic, seperti yang kalian lihat title untuk post kali ini adalah "This Is My Dream"

Tadi pada saat pelajaran Agama Islam, our beloved teacher Mrs. Asniati told to us "Semasa kita di rahim, Allah itu sudah memegang siapa jodoh kita, kapan kita meninggal, dengan cara apa kita meninggal dan banyak atau sedikitkah rezeki kita" Lalu terlintas pada saat dengerin itu, I'm freaking out. Aneh memang tapi tiba-tiba terpikirkan begitu saja. I was afraid at that lesson. I've got a lot dreams and I'm afraid if I can't make it. Lalu gue berpikir gimana ya caranya supaya gue enggak mikirin itu terus? Tapi hasilnya buntu..

Jujur pas pulang gue masih sangat berpikir tentang itu. Gue bakal kasih tau apa mimpi-mimpi gue itu. Tapi terkadang emang agak aneh gue dan hampir gila akan mimpi ini. Nah sekarang, problem gue bagaimana caranya buat mengatasi semua itu? Gimana caranya kita bisa mewujudkan mimpi-mimpi kita semua?

Gue beberin deh semua mimpi gue, semoga pada tidak tertawa.

1. Gue bakalan fokus dulu untuk masuk SMA favorit. Gue sempat dilema seperti apa yang gue katakan dan ceritakan di postingan sebelumnya. Bingung harus memilih SMA 8 atau SMA 81? Tapi gue kayaknya sekarang lebih terarah ke SMA 81. Semoga Allah mengizinkan untuk masuk SMA 81 dengan NEM dan hasil nilai-nilai yang memuaskan. Amin ya Allah.

2. Semasa di SMA 81 / 8 entahlah kita lihat saja nanti, gue bakal memperdalam lagi Bahasa Inggris gue. Selama 3 tahun. Awalnya gue pengen ikut Study Abroad tapi kok gue mikirnya nanggung ya? Mendingan langsung tinggal di luar negeri saja.

3. Setelah lulus dari SMA, here comes the university! Dengan bekal insya Allah gue akan fasih berbahasa Inggris (syukur-syukur bisa bahasa Jerman, Perancis etc) gue akan memilih untuk ngelanjutin kuliah ke Cambridge, Oxford atau Harvard. Dan tinggal di London.

4. Semoga saja become an actress Hollywood. Hahahahaha tapi beneran deh gue kalo dikasih jalan sama Allah yang maha kuasa gue mau banget. Gue aja sampe sekarang udah menjadwalkan akan berpindah haluan dari tinggal di London jadi ke Los Angeles atau Boston. Terus ikut theater at LA and then gue dikontrak bermain film (apakah jadi kenyataan? Saya sangat berharap) tapi ya semua kembali lagi lah kepada kuasa-Nya.

5. A life at UK or LA and marry with Justin Bartha hahaha. Gue ngaku ya gue cinta mati sama Justin Bartha, walaupun dia sudah tua sekali untuk dijadikan pasangan hidup kelak tapi gue tetap berdoa dan yakin pada miracle juga kesempatan akan datang kepada setiap manusia. I believe in luck too! Who knows 10 tahun mendatang saya kawin sama dia (AMIN) punya anak dan sampe kakek nenek awet awet aja deh.

Ketawa? Silahkan tapi ya itulah yang namanya mimpi. Semoga bisa terkabul semua. Gue masih mikirin gimana ya supaya caranya gue optimis menghadapi itu semua? Let's find the way out later. I'm starving right now, so I want to have my lunch. See you soon! Wish me luck.

Cheers,

Kinanti

SHS

2010-01-30T12:05:00.000+07:00

How is it feel if we can't make something better than before? Why I didn't do that and this and that what-so-ever. And never making any changes. Feels so guilty and always regret about that, right? So am I.

Last Friday night, I already knew about my Try Out score. And? It's really different from I've imagined before. And I know if my Dad and Mom see my score, they will upset to me and about punishment. I must ready for that. I'm feeling so guilty. I know this is my fault at all. I didn't study as hard as I can. I just pray without trying and trying. But at that time I've felt I can do it all so good. Here's my result,

- Indonesia : 80

- Math : 60 (it supposed to be 66)

- English : 82

- Science : 74

The average of my score was increasing at all and I'm still thank for that. I got the same class again, 3. What will my parents think about my score? I'm so sorry Dad, Mom. I've just realized if I never try harder and don't make any changes I will be like this for a long time. And my target to get a good Senior High School will failed. I just never know how to try harder.

The National Exam will be held at March 29 and it is about 2 months remaining. On February I must make some changes about my score and about my Daily Test score. I must get 9 at least to get some rank and success on National Exam.

Anyway I got some little problem here. I still confused about choose one school after graduation. 8 SHS or 81 SHS? I really want to be listed as 8 SHS student or 81 SHS student. Which one? Any advice for me? Honestly, I'm afraid for choosing 8 SHS. Because I knew there is a lot of human (I mean teenager older than me ofcourse) that we can call them "Genius Brain". Really really genius brain. I'm afraid if I study at there I will be so late about knowledge. And get dropped out because I can't blend with them all. How about 81 SHS? I don't really know. I'm freaking out! Please, I need some advice.

For next Try Out my score must higher than before. I promise! At least 85 for Try Out. Wish me luck y'all guys! I'll see you soon.

Regards,

Kinanti

So-Late-Update. I'm Sorry!

2010-01-22T13:36:00.000+07:00

Hi readers! Aaa I miss to write something. I know this is really my late update. In case I really want to tell about everything I had but I think there is no much time to write it down in this writing box. Hey here I am. I'm in grade 9 and it means I will face the National Exam. It 66 days left. Time goes so fast. If I could wish for one thing I will make time slower than before. But I know it's possible. I don't have some strength to stop the time. Idiot.

Well haha I'm spechless. Anyway whoever has read my post I want you all to keep pray for me when I face the National Exam. I'm really serious about my graduation. I won't make my parents disappointed again. I want to make them proud of me. I will try my best. So, maybe I will update this blog once a week. I'm sorry. But after finish the National Exam I will be back again to write all the things that I've done. Really :)

Anyway there is so much movie I want to watch. And now I'm Justin Lee Bartha biggest fan! Haha sometimes I will post about Justin Bartha. Soon! First I want to say Happy Belated Birthday my biggest inspiration all time, Zooey Deschanel! Wishing you all the best in every step you take and everything you make. Keep it going, Zooey.
Back about movie I want to watch so badly, first I want to have DVD Teachers (TV Series US) but I think it's hard to find. Someone please who know where I must buy it tell me. Write in my C-Box. Thanks before.

Talk shit. There is so much awesome movie and interesting movie at the end of 2009 and at the beginning 2010.

New York, I Love You
Whip It!
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
Iron Man 2
The Spy Nextdoor
Tooth Fairy
Did You Heard About The Morgans?
Penelope

Right? But I will try to buy the DVD after the National Exam. I can't wait to watch it all! And I'm still waiting for National Treasure 3. Release : 2011. It's okay. I will wait to see Riley Poole (Justin Bartha!)

I think that is all for this time. On Monday, January 26 2009 I will face the second Try Out. Wish me luck! I wish I can get a good score so my parents proud of my score and me.

Take Care you all and see you in next week!

Regards,

Kinanti

Late Update

2009-12-21T23:40:00.000+07:00

I MISS EVERYTHING IN THIS BLOG! Finally. It's nice to write my experience again. Hmm where do I begin? Honestly, I'm so sleepy right now. There is so many things to say to you all, readers. But I think I can't finish to tell it one by one this night. Later and I'm promise I will update about it soon. Anyway how about your holiday? I hope you enjoy it but I think I will not be able to enjoy Christmas holiday this year like Christmas holiday last year.

So many reason why I said like that. First, a few days ago I just received a report and I am very proud of what I've got. But Try Out scores has ruined everything! Just because I got 50 for my Math test (I know maybe you will think I'm the dumbest ever but I've tried my best) and my dad was grounded me! No more internet, social networking, handphones, iPod. EVERYTHING! Oh come on dad. It's unfair. UNFAIR! 21st century kids can not live without gadgets and so am I. Did not you understand about that? And since that chaos I always felt irritable and began to move away from my family. Poor? It's so poor :'(

You know? I always cry when I remember about that chaos.I'm feeling so guilty but at another side I hate my Dad. It's hard, Dad to express my feeling. About what I thought to you. Maybe you will never want to hear me. For you, I'm such a little girl who just know how to be the stupid ever and a girl who always sitting in front of laptop.

I'm trying, Dad. I'M TRYING oh gosh get me out from this confusing thing :( but I always thought I would be ready to face anything because I believe "don't wish for an easy life" no matter how hurts it feels. I must face it all. I know I can do it and I can prove that to my Mom and Dad. So I can make them proud. And I always try to be a patient girl to face the hardest destruction in my life. Here I am just ridding out the storm ;)

Tomorrow! Mother's Day. And I just remembered that I haven't buy anything for my Mom. I really want to search something and I will give it to my Mom. But I can't make it for this year. I'm sorry Mom. But I always praying in every single step you take you can get the best. Oh ya anyway a few weeks ago I made some poetry for my Mom. I hope she will like it.

And for all Christians have a nice holiday and get ready for Christmas celebration! Haha. I can't wait for Xmas and New Year ;D

By the way Rest In Peace my fav actress Brittany Murphy :( still can not believe that she just passed away this morning. She will be missed.

Regards,
Kinanti

Spread It Out

2009-10-20T14:52:00.000+07:00

Hey my readers. How are you doing?! Are you fine? I am so so bad right now. There is 2 reasons that really makes me curious and afraid. The most successfully makes me afraid is about my report. This Saturday I will see my report. My score at Middle Test too.

This day : Tuesday. I know about my Civilization score. It such a mess. Just got 70. What a poor score right? Oh hell...
And my Math. Please do not ask it to me. I am little sensitive about the Math score. Oh like I care haha.

Well. I am gonna tell you something in my mind. Recently, I love to see the sunset. Now I can see the fascinating scenery from my room or my balcony. Oh really. Suddenly I was impressed with many beautiful things that God has given to us. No one can makes a really really an amazing nature like this except God :) We should be grateful to God.

So I take a look at my old photos album. I just found out this..

The model is my siblings haha. My sister, Alita and my brother, Yuto. Look at them. What a fulled with love.

I also love this picture so damn much. I do not know exactly why I suddenly love to see the sunset. It can makes me relax and peaceful.

Next time I will posting with the picture too :)

Regards,

Kinanti

Earthquake

2009-10-16T17:33:00.000+07:00

Hey readers. Few minutes ago. I just sat around and front of this computer. And then I saw someone tweeting about earthquake just happened again. Please, for you all. Don't you feel that this is sign from Allah to warning us? I already feel that since the first earthquake happened at Padang.

Really, I am afraid of that. Please stop the tears. No more earthquake. We can not stop an earthquake but we can prevent the wrath of Allah. Maybe we were warned by Allah of the earthquakes that frequently occur in this year. In 2 months there is so many an earthquake.

According to the teachings of my religion that profess Islam. This is a small end. An earthquake is small part of the doomsday picture. We as humans have to believe in the existence of the Hour. We do not know when it will happen. If Allah wills, it happens and no one can stop that. Despite strong as any man. What makes me fear is the Day of Resurrection in Al Quran is written there on Friday. And you know what? Hey this is Friday. Oh come on..

Keep praying for you all. Once again. God is warn us :(

P.S : I have just deleted all my blog rolls. I am really sorry for that guys. Get dizzy when I saw it all! If you want to exchange link just write your req in my Chat Box.

Regards,

Kinanti.

Hello There

2009-10-16T13:31:00.000+07:00

Hey my blog readers! How are you doing? How are you too?! Hope you all so fine. I'm fine too. Hm exactly not bad. But I'm not really in a good mood now. I just want to say that I have just deleted all my posts in this blog. Why? I don't know exactly why, just want to delete it all. So I'll start posting with different way for this time.

Enough for the prologue. What will we talk about in my first post? Hey I had just finished the dealing with the Middle Test. Oh really it makes my brain want to burst out. There is so many lesson that I must learn for about 5 days. What a tired day. But I am really happy to know it just over haha. But I still worry about my score. Hope I get a pretty well score amen.

And you know what? Some of my friends asked me. "Nan why you so comfortable to be alone recently?" Only that words just I am thinking of until I got home few hours ago. I want to say is "Being alone is not bad at all if you know what exactly you have done to yourself" Honestly I think this is my life now. I don't really care what people say about me.

I feel more comfortable with this condition. I am more interpreted what a experience is for. Makes we want do the best in this life as we can and want to have a better life for sure. I really want it so badly. Establishing a good thing and leave my bad habit is that I had ever done in the past for example. Always do something in the wrong path and use our bad habit is gonna kill yourself and it just make we fall into the darkest path. So what will you do in next? Try to fix it as you can. Do your best. And so do I. Keep pray for me guys. I need your support.

Whatever you want to say for my biggest change in my life but this is me. Not the old me. But the another side and the new me! I want to say goodbye to the old Kinan. Maybe this is odds for some of you to see my rotation. It will need pretty long time.

Prefer to life peacefully! Hahaha. And I just want to get closer with my Lord, Allah and my family. Because for the bright future I do it all.

And the last thing I want to say to you. This day is Oct 16 and it get closer to my birthday! November, 16. Can't wait for the best day ever for me!

So see you in the next posting!

Regards,
Kinanti