January 30, 2010


How is it feel if we can't make something better than before? Why I didn't do that and this and that what-so-ever. And never making any changes. Feels so guilty and always regret about that, right? So am I.

Last Friday night, I already knew about my Try Out score. And? It's really different from I've imagined before. And I know if my Dad and Mom see my score, they will upset to me and about punishment. I must ready for that. I'm feeling so guilty. I know this is my fault at all. I didn't study as hard as I can. I just pray without trying and trying. But at that time I've felt I can do it all so good. Here's my result,

- Indonesia : 80
- Math         : 60 (it supposed to be 66)
- English      : 82
- Science      : 74

The average of my score was increasing at all and I'm still thank for that. I got the same class again, 3. What will my parents think about my score? I'm so sorry Dad, Mom. I've just realized if I never try harder and don't make any changes I will be like this for a long time. And my target to get a good Senior High School will failed. I just never know how to try harder. 

The National Exam will be held at March 29 and it is about 2 months remaining. On February I must make some changes about my score and about my Daily Test score. I must get 9 at least to get some rank and success on National Exam.

Anyway I got some little problem here. I still confused about choose one school after graduation. 8 SHS or 81 SHS? I really want to be listed as 8 SHS student or 81 SHS student. Which one? Any advice for me? Honestly, I'm afraid for choosing 8 SHS. Because I knew there is a lot of human (I mean teenager older than me ofcourse) that we can call them "Genius Brain". Really really genius brain. I'm afraid if I study at there I will be so late about knowledge. And get dropped out because I can't blend with them all. How about 81 SHS? I don't really know. I'm freaking out! Please, I need some advice.

For next Try Out my score must higher than before. I promise! At least 85 for Try Out. Wish me luck y'all guys! I'll see you soon.